One of my children went through a super-conscientious phase in adolescence. Instead of freedom, this conscientiousness was used by the enemy to put him in bondage.
I would say, “I love you.”
And he would respond with, “Uh, I don’t know if I love you or not.” Because in his mind, he didn’t want to tell me that he loved me if it wasn’t 100% true, and he didn’t know (based on his feelings at that moment). Somehow, he had confused love for a feeling, and we don’t always have feelings. But he wanted to be honest.
My feelings were hurt. Here was this child who I had carried, nurtured, played with, scolded, hugged, told stories to, sacrificed for, and poured myself into, from hours in NICU to hours of homework…and he didn’t know if he loved me?
A few days of this went by when I realized…it didn’t matter. I had enough for both of us! I went back to him and told him, “It doesn’t matter if you know whether you love me or not because I have enough love for both of us!” And I did. I could carry it until he could get things figured out.
There have moments in my life when my mind could not think things through. I have gone to God and told Him how I was confused. Problems were too much for my mind. And God has had enough for both of us! He could carry me.
This is good to know whether you are a young, exhausted parent or a middle-aged mother, like me, and you can’t always sort out everything.
But it is also good if you are in your twilight years, like my father-in-law who in the last few months has gone through almost dying from sepsis, having a heart catheterization, getting three stents put in, and is scheduled for an overdue surgery! My in-laws’ nerves are shot, and their strength has been low at times. But God has promised to carry them when they cannot carry themselves!
John Rippon said:
Even down to old age all My people shall prove
My sovereign, eternal, unchangeable love;
And when, hoary (gray) hairs shall their temples adorn,
Like lambs they shall still in My bosom be borne.
The soul that on Jesus has leaned for repose
I will not, I will not desert to its foes
That soul, though all hell should endeavor to shake
I’ll never, no never, no never forsake
How good to know that when we get to the end, God’s store of endurance has only begun! Even when you are fragile…He is not! And so, I agree with the songwriter, “What more can He say than to you He hath said?” He has enough for both of you!
photo credit: backyardstudios.zenfolio.com
Wow!! I’m glad I read it!! What I needed today!! I’m still crying!! Thanks!